RESOLVE

“Happy New Year,” he said as he kissed me. “We have a lot to look forward to this year.”

I nodded and smiled. I hoped the look in my eye didn’t give away the misgivings I entertained alongside my optimism.

I wonder if my husband is, after more than 20 years, used to my silent responses and able to read my face. I find I do that often. My thoughts get log-jammed coming down the pike, and I can’t get around the traffic enough to speak. There’s too much to say. So I offer up nods with what I fathom to be communicative facial expressions.

Worried my face didn't say enough in support, I offered, "We do have a lot to look forward to,” and smiled again in reinforcement.

My thoughts weren’t totally in alignment with my spoken word. A completely straightforward response may have sounded more like this, “We do have a lot to do this year.”

If I'm not careful I will look past the entire year and all it entails, until this time next year, when I’m in a more comfortable position, and I can look back on the year and reflect.

Sometimes I’m better at reflection than I am with anticipation.

So I exercise my resolve and the ability to keep it simple, and to take one step at a time.