THINKING OF YOU

Do you believe in the Butterfly Effect?

I think I do…

I am here, so close to where we were, physically, then

But it is 2012 now.

I wonder

how best to commemorate

In your honor

With respect and humility

For the fact, that, I wasn’t the one

You were —

And they were, but

I always feel so close to your pain that first day.

(I do not portend to know about all the days since)

Being back here

For the first time in years

Forces me to face

March 31, which always brings

Overwhelming emotion filled with memories of

The dawn of tragic loss, unconfirmed.

We first made coffee

just for the motion of doing.

And then you asked me how….

…and I still don’t know the answer,

only it’s what they want to do.

Sometime later,

I made you ride a bike,

And you went,

just for the motion of doing

But you couldn’t see —

You said it was a blur

(between the ativan and no contacts)

I wanted you to feel

nothing but wind in your face

just for the motion of doing

I acknowledge and remember

so many special things about each and every one, in words and actions …

They are everywhere.

In peoples’ thoughts, I read.

In my own, I feel.

But I also want to hear

How you are

And what the kids are doing lately

Your family legacy flourishes through their sweet faces

And your smile

Affirming life moves on

In silence now, and without you

I think about the time

we spent here in tandem,

but I also want to

celebrate everything

you’ve worked so hard to build since —

always remembering,

(we never forget) as we

keep moving forward from

Seven years ago today.

In loving memory of those we lost on March 31, 2005; the nine men who comprised the crew of Wrath II, 7SOS, USAF, RAF Mildenhall.

In honor of all those they left behind.

We remember.