HOLES IN MY HEAD

I’ve been having more than my share of “blond moments,” lately. In fact, I think I said the term more than once yesterday, "Sorry. I'm having a blond moment."

I’d like to blame my silliness on the color of my hair, I really would. Furthermore, I’d like to say my ever-increasing “ice blond” (read gray/white) hair actually qualifies to be assigned to this esteemed hair-color category.

I guess I’m not sure the term is relevant when it comes to me or my condition. I’m okay with that.

What I’m NOT okay with, is the ever-increasing frequency in which I find myself in the middle of making a point or reference in a conversation that I cannot complete. It’s that pinnacle moment when you’re about to bubble over with some awesome relevancy — and you can’t recall the particulars; instead only a random reference with an approximate summation and an estimated date come to mind.

It leaves one with the same sense of “near to nothing” feeling that having sex with no climax does. That’s okay once in a while, but if it happens with any frequency, it’s a bit of a letdown.

So, like many, I blame my problems on the military.

Here’s my theorem: the more often you move, the more you have to trash information about the place you’ve just left, in order to create enough RAM for the new information you’re about to download.

This repetitive process causes cracks in the short-term crevices of your brain.

All the details about daily living are effected — like knowing the names of: neighbors; doctors; realtors; lawyers; hair salons; teachers; restaurants; libraries; churches; books; the cat; the dog; and/or, ... your children. The list goes on. ALL those things become moot and must be replaced and re-recorded every two to three years (except, of course, your children).

This process can render a person pointless.

Therefore, my lack-of-clarity moments have nothing to do with getting older or with the color of my hair. It is the military that is to blame. The big, generic not-so-specific, overgeneralization many like to make when referring to any or all of the five branches as, "THE MILITARY." In this case it might apply. These short-term memory-loss symptoms resulting from frequent moves know no distinctions.

Have I already written about this? I honestly can't remember ...